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WORD OF THE DUDE

I, my own dude, need peace at heart and trust in my future

I am the hand that throws the ball, and the pins that fall

- perfectly

Easy regards

Rev. Kirpus at his Dudiness
Ordained Dudeist Priest at Dudeism, the Church of the Latter-Day Dude

The blank space of Life

Some days it feels like I am off track, lost in space, not really there

The Silence

A couple of months ago I went on a silent retreat for 4 days, with one question "Who am I?". For 4 days, I asked myself the same question over and over and over again, until it lost its meaning - I became the question. Basically, the question got reduced to "I". 
It turned in to a philosophical dilemma, because all that was left was the question. I did not find any answers, just more questions. Like always, I question. everything. I seek progress, to see the other side, to understand what's behind the obvious .. And sometimes that leaves me hanging in limbo for a long time. I try to rationalize the in's and out's, the intangible and the obvious, the right's and wrong's - and I have also come to the Einstein conclusion that everything is relative. Relatively inconsistent, and that leaves a lot of room to ponder ..

So there I was, accepting the fact that I live in a constant question. "I" am, right there in the middle of "Who am I" and the answer .. That blank space where the question has left the mind before it answers "You are ..". The second the answer comes up the question resolves - it's no longer relevant, because, if you have the answer, there is no need for a question, or is there..? If everything is relative, the answers only existential right is in relation to the question. Without the question, you only get half of the answer. And I wonder ..

In the end, I had to accept that this is who I am, what humanity is, the question. 

Our human consciousness is curiosity, we live the question. 

So here I am, living as a consequence of a billion factors that had to meet, to make me - the blank space, or the perfect hybrid of Q&A = Awareness. And that, in essence, my friends, is humanity. Love is the energy that holds the universe together, the spiritual is what makes it aware of its existence. For some reason, that spiritual energy had to materialize as planet earth, with love driving life as we know it, and the human beings as conscious awareness. This leads me to the statement above "humanity is the question/awareness/curiosity".
We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience - G. I. Gurdjieff

That's it - or is it?

That's it, but not all. It seems as we have forgotten the question and only live by the answers. If humanity is the answer, what is the question? For some reason the spiritual energy had to manifest itself into a physical awareness to .?? I'd like to know. 
These days it seems as our answers are predominantly being ruled by religion and capitalism. If we look to the media it seems as humanity is a destructive force of ego's that is willing to sacrifice all for .. what?  That leaves room for another question, for what? Apparently, this destructive force of ego's is being supported by something beyond our reach. I doubt we will ever know the answer to that, but live the consequences. The question is, what are the consequences of the blank space in between the Q&A? Is this "life"?

There I go again, of on my mental journey, into the blank oblivion ..

OK, OK, OK, OK
All I needed to know is, am I Ok? Is it OK to be me? Is it OK to live on a question alone? The awareness in me says "yes - that is the essence of life". The body says "no - we need to make money!", which is only fair. The physical manifestation wouldn't make much sense if I let it starve under a bush in the forest, the physical manifestation needs food and fun too ;-)

The difficulty lies not in solving problems but in identifying the questions

So the real dilemma is, is it OK to earn a living questioning life? Of course, it is.. lot's of people do because they studied and have great titles to their names. But here's the thing; they study answers and forget to question, in essence. Without the question, the answer is relatively weak.

Accepting the blank space

It is hard to live in the blank space for too long. The ego needs to be acknowledged by being able to give answers and possibly making money doing so. True artists produce questions and thrive in this, while floating in the blank space, without being able to give the answers. We, the audience, live the answers and feed them back to artist. True artists can survive the blank space for a lifetime, like David Bowie e.g. But most get beaten down by their egos. (That was an answer to something ;) However, I am not an artist, I am a question.

What are we?

I've been asking a lot of questions all my life, none were given, all were experienced. The fact of the matter is, I've come a long way to be who I am. I've had to make a million choices to be where I am now - just like you. Who you are in relation to me, is the question now that you read this. If I am me, who are you and what are "we"?
These past days I have spent asking myself "is it OK to be me?". Is it OK to ask people to go on this journey with me into the blank space, and I think it is. Does it make sense - hell yeah! It's the meaning of life. Come along!

- come -

25 Struggles Only ENFPs Will Understand (JTI)

I score high as an ENFP in the JTI test - and boy do I know of the struggles on the list in this article!


ENFPs are passion-driven ‘ideas’ people. They gain energy from interacting with the world around them, and become quickly excited over new possibilities. Though ENFPs loves being around people, they crave alone time much more than the average extrovert. ENFPs search for a deeper meaning in just about everything, and use their much-coveted alone time to decide how their experiences fit in with their system of core values. 

25 Struggles Only ENFPs Will Understand

To be Frank, it’s an exhausting personality to have. Here are a few struggles most ENFPs face.

| Thought Catalog

Let go of what you fear and love - Kirpus says

- Let go of what you fear and love -

you are much more than a social construct

Until there is surrender, unconscious role-playing constitutes a large part of human interaction. In surrender, you no longer need ego defenses and false masks. You become very simple, very real. “That’s dangerous,” says the ego. “You’ll get hurt. You’ll become vulnerable.” What the ego doesn’t know, of course, is that only through the letting go of resistance, through becoming “vulnerable,” can you discover your true and essential invulnerability. Now ask yourself, “who” just read that?

(Kirpus/E. Tolle)

Born and Raised

I haven't had the privilege of a good present dad, I never see him anymore.
He hasn't met my wife and kids. Oh well..


Becoming a good human being is a fulltime job. Being a good parent is a lifetime achievement.

Our precious pretence ..

That is so effin' true ..

International Events Fatique

Protests could disrupt Brazil's World Cup quest - Scolari | Reuters

Is it only me?

Is it only me or are you also starting to feel a bit disgusted with the major sports and cultural events of the world?

In year 2014 we had to endure a scandalous Winter OL in Russia - with major pollution problems to follow and hate crimes against gay people.
This summer we can watch Brazil spend enormous amounts of money on football - while it's population is suffering and the goverment commits heinous crimes against their weakest elements of society - the street children 

The ignorance and decadence is frightening!
It's getting more and more obvious that some people are having a luscious ball at the expense of the environment and population of the world. It seems as we have forgotten that we all live on the same planet and looking away doesn't solve the problems - and there is no one else to fix this mess but us.

Take it back!
But there is a peaceful way to protest: Take it back! Take it back to your neighborhood, play with your friends, boycott your idols who pray on these events. Remember what it was all about - socialising and having a good time on your own.

But it's just a thought. Never mind me.

UPDATE!

This post let me to voice my opinion, on a current danish radio program, about the FIFA World Cup. I love football, but I hate the bigotry.

The invited guests came from an academic background, including a woman who works with future developments. All, but one, treated the subjects as if major world events are holy cows that should not be challenged. I believe I voiced my opinion on the matter very well, but the edited interview only focused on the FIFA World Cup. Fair enough. 

• Link to audio podcast (spoken in danish) - hear me at 18:45

But think about this:

What if we could get 700 million viewers with a budget of billions of dollars for a two week world wide media event every second year - could we change the future, one event at the time? Would you watch?

I suggest taking it from the top:

• A common clean up campaign of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch
• A campaign for the leaders of the world to understand that our planet can not handle one more bomb dropped in the trees, one more sunken war ship or one more city burning. 

Is there anybody out there?

Music is a force of nature

Music has been the passion of my life for as long as I can remember. The first two tracks I could sing, with a soul feeling, was Blondie 'Heart of glass' and Kate Bush 'Babooshka'.

Music is a force of nature for me. It is as important as clean air, a walk in the forest, a close conversation with a stranger. It is as close to an instant spiritual manifestation that I can get. It's an enabler to a higher love for life.

The passion
When my kids were born I was afraid that I'd lose my passion for music, that I would lose myself to 'Kiddy music vol. 11'. But no. Instead I have become a steady source of music inspiration to my two girls and they are my true companions when it comes to getting into the groove. 
I tried to pass my passion on to my wife for 15 years. But she just wanted to dance, and is now my ex-wife. In the future I will try the impossible, to find a woman who is still into listening to fresh tunes, even after 40+.

I'm horrible about my taste in music - and women
I love to dance, but I have to listen to the lyrics too. If the lyrics are rubbish, I just can't take it seriously. And if a woman can't tell the difference, it's never going to work out. Apparently ..


Just recently I met with an old friend of mine, for the first time in years, and we discussed the topic. He disagreed and asked me if it really matters that much - or if I was just being a music snob? - Fair enough!

This was my answer:
Remember the girl you were dating back in 1998? She bought a Dr. Bombay album and played it repeatedly. I despised her for that and couldn't visit you before you broke up with her again. He was astonished and embarrassed that I remembered the girl - and the album(!!). We toasted to that and our great taste in music ;-)

Never growing out of love
It's my going to church, hanging out with old friends, my summer holiday, chilling with the dog, reading a good book. It's where I feel the spirit and the connection to the universe .. It's an art and it is explainable - and it's my never-ending love affair.
Deeper explanation here: Depending on art to be present in the now

Looking out for love
If you are an outgoing woman with a passion for independent art and you have a rock philosophy degree behind you, I'd like to hear from you.  

The detour of my heart
This blog post was supposed to be about my passion for new music, and how much I appreciate a new generation getting into recording their own tunes, that eventually grow into music that I can appreciate. But then it turned into a cry for love and passion combined. 
Once I had a woman, but she really didn't care for music, did she?

I hope this message finds you, even if we are 10 years down the road. I'll be waiting for you ♥♪

Some tattoos are better left in your head

Woman with tattoos

I just read that more women than men get tattoos now and that women often go real big. As a reaction to this fashion trend one girl stated that 'It's not a big deal, I can always get them removed'. Well .. It really isn't that simple. You will change the pigmentation of your skin and even though the colors are gone, so might the ability to tan normally again. In any case you have to consider were you choose to place your tattoo, because you might not have a low-risk choice of getting it removed again.

Oh.. And it will cost you anywhere from $250 to 1000 dollars pr. tattoo.

Time Stamps
That said, I have 6 tattoos myself and the first one was made in 1990 - without spell check ;-p
None of them are even close to being new school art pieces, but more a time stamp, with lot's of symbolic meaning to me. If I had the money, I probably would go real big and artsy - like a sleeve tattoo. It's still on my wish list.

THINK ABOUT IT
I always recommend giving it a thorough thought - what does the tattoo really mean to you right now and what are the cultural references??

Who's that beautiful psychopath on your arm?
I once met a DJ who had a big tattoo of Alex DeLarge, from the cult classic A Clockwork Orange, tattooed on his underarm. He had no idea what this cool looking movie character was about (check it out). I told him NOT to look it up, because he might end up with nightmares. 
So be careful, you might end up with a piece on your arm that has cultural references to rape, violence, racism, murder, drug addiction etc., for the rest of your life. And even though you might not realize it, the person in front of you will.

Woman with tattoos - and burqas
I love women with tasteful tattoos and I think that they can be quite sexy. But it's a definite turn off when it's a tramp stamp or a nameless fashion sticker. If you don't put more thought in to who you are, you are not for me.
Facial and hand tattoos are always a 'no go', in my book. Even the fashionable stiletto behind the ear or diamond on the finger. Just don't do it! There will be hundreds of days were you don't want the world to see your tattoos and you just want to be left alone and un-judged - and wearing a burqa just doesn't do the trick!

However .. Sometimes a tattoo is just so beautiful that that no explanation is needed and the piece of art speaks for itself. Go find it.

The featured tattoos above are from the blog Wear Your Heart on Your Skin

MENFP

 

Shiny happy people - have their shit together

Shiny happy people

*note

Good for them

I used to despise, but now I envy, people who don't need art in their life to be present or emotional stable. I thought that people who only need music to party or dance where spiritually poor, that they were missing out on the essence of the art in music. My prejudice tells me that they are either in some sort of bliss or ignorant. But now I understand that they are not constantly filling their minds with art, because they don't need to. For them, art is an emotional overload - too much emotional information. Good for them.

I understand that most people prefer music they know, music that is validated, music that is safe and social, so that they can focus on things that matter. Like balancing their accounts.. And I think to myself ' Those people must really have their shit together - how come they are not cool?'
Because they don't need to, they got their shit together(!)

Help me write part two 

*This is part one of a blog post that I am writing. Part two will be posted later. 

Apparently we don't speak the same language and we will probably never understand each other. But why?

I'd love to investigate this further, but i could use a little help here, so feel free to chime in and I'll keep you updated if I ever figure this one out. Until then, think about it, and help me figure this one out by posting your comments below.

Marc Maron, my spiritual older brother

Marc Maron

Over the last couple of years I have listened a lot to Marc Maron, somehow, it feels like he is an older version of myself. Or at least, we are growing together, after being humbled by an emotional storm.

Oddly enough, when I have been in the deepest despair , I can tweet him, and he answers.

Marc my virtual friend. I hope I can return the favour over a tweet some day. Now that you are engaged to be married, let me tell you this - If you ever choose to have children. That path is very dangerous for us, not because of the children, but because of their mother. We are not built to handle the strong mother instinct and the addictive love for our babies. Eventually it will conflict.

I am not tough, I am angry

Don't waste your time being tough. Even the toughest run out of time.

My battle with me and I in a picture

But who am I and who is who??
Greatly inspired by 'The Power of Now' I have decided that something, or somebody, in me has to go in 2013. I have a split personality, with different strength. But which one should survive?

And this is me, aggressively flying my big bleeding ego flag.

Pictures by Troilo

Depending on art to be present in the now

From The power of Now Eckart Tolle shares his experience with music.

This speaks to me strongly. I, for one, need music to be present and feel connected to the source, the divine. I know now.. 
It's an unpleasant thought to 'be' without music, to be honest. Music has been my number one source, to understanding the feelings, that my brain can not process.
The last couple of years I have been listening to talk radio, more than music. Words and ideas has filled my mind, but not my heart, and I came to realize, that I had become an inspired mind, but an emotional wreck. So I had to turn my attention to music again, just to realize, that I am depending on music to present in the now, when I need stillness. So where do I begin to let go of music, as my first source of presence?

This is what I got from Eckhart Tolle's answer
Don't be depending on listening to music to be present - the music is inside you (it's not in the notes that you play, it's in the notes you don't play).
Presence should not be bound to one thing. When you listen to music and you feel connected, switch off the music and continue listening to the 'music inside you'. Once you feel the 'now', stop, and listen.
Use art to connect to the 'now', then put it away, close your eyes and continue to feel the presence. 

www.eckharttolle.com

'Live fast, Die young' ..

The problem with 'Live fast, Die young' 
 - is that you survive.



Once divided...nothing left to subtract...
Some words when spoken...can't be taken back...
Walks on his own...with thoughts he can't help thinking...
Future's above...but in the past he's slow and sinking...
Caught a bolt 'a lightnin'...cursed the day he let it go...

Faith and trust at sea

I would never have left the shore with you, had I known, you count your weight in gold.

You pushed away as I was sinking, when you promised that we would sail this stormy ocean together.

You took away all my lifesavers, to build your own float - and I was not waving goodbye, I was drowning.

Every betrayal begins with trust .. 

Origional lyrics
"And I've got this black suit on

Roaming around like I'm ready for a funeral
Five more miles till the road runs out

I'm about to drive in the ocean
I'ma try to swim from something bigger than me
Kick off my shoes and swim good and swim good
Take off this suit and swim good and swim good, good .."

Chasing a dream

Sometimes I wonder if I am chasing a dream or running away from a nightmare ..??

Me and St. Paddys

 

Just a good day out with friends, Guinness and hangovers :-)

4 real

Some days all my ideas and expectations come crashing down on me.

I am always my own worst opponent. 

Listen: www.wtfpod.com/podcast

Follow Marc Maron @marcmaron